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Teaching Kids About Diversity
by Florence M Howard
Writer Florence M Howard, whose son is disabled, shares her experiences about how she dealt with other children's reactions to her son's appearance in hopes parents will teach their children about diversity and why some people are different.
A time to teach
Has your child ever looked at a severely disabled person and ran screaming, "It's a monster?"
Well, February, with its emphasis on brotherhood, love and mutual respect is a great time to teach your child about people who are different, including those with physical disabilities.
As the parent of a disabled child, I have heard the occasional scream and more often seen the shocked, speechless expressions of young children who encounter another young person in a wheelchair. This occasion presents a great teachable moment for parents. For most, however, it is a missed opportunity.
In 1985, my beautiful, 10-year-old son, Derrick was hit by a car while riding his bike. He suffered a traumatic brain injury and was in a coma for four months. The accident lead to multiple handicaps, including aphasia (the inability to speak clearly), deafness in one ear, deformed hands, Bell's Palsy (which caused a slight drool), and the necessity of a wheelchair), yet he is highly intelligent individual who loves children. During the past 16 years, he has lovingly and humorously endured piteous stares, pointing fingers and screams at his appearance. He has also been warmed by those children who shyly wave, joyfully run up hug him or boldly hop into his lap for a ride. Then, ever so often, there is the bright child. That child makes his parents proud because of his wholehearted acceptance and offer of friendship. For Derrick and for me, those are occasions of great rejoicing.
Do's and don'ts
So, here are some tips for handling such encounters with more dignity all around.
- Don't you yourself run away
and pretend nothing has happened or stare speechlessly with your mouth open.
- Don't drag your bewildered youngster back to the scene
any closer than she feels comfortable or safe. As in most cases, this is about three feet away.
- Don't be embarrassed
when your child asks, "What happened to you?" because this shows a level of concern for another person that, in most cases, is marvelously affirming. Observe how the person with the disability is responding before you over-react and assume the question is unwelcome.
- Do pattern the behavior you want your child to achieve
. For example, smile, greet that individual and, generally, treat the alert disabled person, even those with speech problems, just you would any "normal" person who had a broken arm or leg.
- Do ask closed-ended questions
or those requiring a brief answer when you discover that the individual has a speech impediment. For example, asking "How are you today?" only requires a brief response of "fine" or "good."
- Do look disabled people in the eye.
This both affirms them and tells you how responsive they are. In many cases, you will be pleasantly surprised.
- Do be courteous
enough to remove barriers, open doors, hold elevators and the like. It is a myth that disabled people welcome rudeness to show their independence.
- Do listen to your child's questions
and reassure them about any fears regarding his own health or safety.
- Do encourage your child to be gracious
, courteous and kind to all people regardless of their race, color, sex and physical attributes or abilities.
Sherene, the seven-year-old who at first had gone off screaming, is now 16. She learned to love Derrick and to value him as a special friend. In fact, she claimed him as "Her Derrick" and told all her friends and family about him. The two would talk and laugh. She would tell him things and ask questions verbally and he would respond with gestures, nods and a writing of any detailed questions or statements he had. She is just one of many children whose lives have been enriched because they took the time to get to know a disabled person.
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Grasp the opportunity
For parents who are searching for an opportunity to teach their child about love, acceptance and fairness to those who are different, I want to recommend a children's book, Earl the Emu, to start their discussion. This book, by Pat Winston, tells the story of an emu who goes to live on a farm with Jason, a disabled boy, and his farm animal friends. At first, Earl is ridiculed and laughed at because of his long neck and clumsiness. That is until one incident showed the other animals how valuable having Earl around could be.
The author, Pat Winston, resides in Jackson, Tennessee, and is available as a speaker and for story times at schools, churches and libraries. She can be reached at (901) 660-5057 or at earlemu@aol.com.
Links, information and more for you
 Teaching Tolerance
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About the author: Florence M. Howard is founder of SSCOMM, Inc., dba Secret Shop Communicators. The company’s services include training and development, mystery shoppers, service and compliance evaluations, business and career coaching and event planning. An experienced writer, motivational speaker, trainer and public relations specialist, Ms. Howard also serves as an adjunct professor in the Journalism Department at the University of Memphis.
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