Parties for one-year-olds
While it's exciting to think of a child reaching his first birthday, Stephanie Rider, an entertainment specialist with All in Fun, suggests holding a party for those who are old enough to share the excitement -- the parents and older cousins, sisters and brothers. "At a one-year-old birthday party, the guest of honor could be napping," she says. "While 20 percent of the parties we provide entertainment for are one-year-olds' parties, I actually suggest planning the party around the ages of the other guests who will be there."

Parties for toddlers
Marilyn Macumber of The Children's Center suggests that simple parties are preferable, particularly for this age. "A party for a toddler might include inviting a few friends over for ice cream and cake." While she advocates both family and children's parties, Haupt suggests employing sensitivity to the child's temperament and personality when deciding the number of guests. "Some children just do not like a lot of people around. Others prefer only people who are very familiar. For such a three-year-old, inviting all the grandparents, aunts and uncles can be very frightening."

On the other hand, says Haupt, some children are highly sociable. "These kids feel like the more guests, the merrier, and love all the action and attention." She adds that preschoolers seem to prefer a less formal, more unstructured event. "We assembled makeup and a bunch of dress-up clothes and allowed a group of four-year-olds 15 minutes to dress up for a parade around the playroom. They had a great time."

A more structured party, in which Haupt created a homemade obstacle course, was less successful for children this age. "Right out of the gate, the birthday child tripped and fell. She cried and shouted, 'no fair.'" Haupt explains that preschoolers like to make up their own rules and "always have to win." Traditional birthday activities in which someone has to "lose," such as musical chairs and pin the tail on the donkey would be more effective for older children -- "if they are interested at that age," says Haupt.

She feels that a home setting is likely safer and more easily supervised for a preschool party than taking children elsewhere. "Preschoolers are less likely to be over-stimulated and less likely to lose their normal self-control in a home setting. Having more than one adult to supervise is also a good idea," says Haupt. She also believes that a time length of one hour or less helps to avoid over-stimulation. "Think short periods of time and small numbers of children for preschool parties."

In planning entertainment and a theme for toddler and preschool parties, Rider suggests, "Go with the theme the child loves the most -- if it's Winnie the Pooh, Teletubbies or Blue's Clues." She suggests that a clown for a toddler party should have a "European" face. "This look includes a rubber nose and freckles and real hair rather than a wig. Remember that you can change the look of a clown to fit the theme of the party."

Parties for ages five to eight
By now, a child's "party personality" is more firmly established. "They have been to more parties and know what they like," says Haupt. Macumber suggests considering the personality of the individual child when planning a party for any age. "As soon as you can, involve your child in planning the party." She suggests offering several choices that are acceptable to the parent and letting the child choose. "If you simply ask, ‘What do you want to do at your party?’ the child may say, 'I'd like to take my whole school class to Lagoon.'" Haupt adds, "You might say, 'Here are six or seven ideas that are within my budget and range of energy. Which ones do you like?'"

Haupt believes that five is the age to begin taking children to parties outside the home and suggests two hours as the maximum time limit for any child's party other than a sleepover.

Rider says that from the age of five, children can enjoy a half-hour show, such as a magician, clown or cartoon character. "At this age, a child will know exactly what they want as far as refreshments, games and entertainment." She feels that if someone is hiring entertainment and/or having the party outside the home for children five and older, it's possible to invite more children. "Children can be more outgoing when there are more of them there. I would say 15 children is a good number."

On the other hand, Haupt and Macumber still subscribe to the theory of inviting as many children as the child's age -- for example, four children to a four-year-old's party or eight children to an eight-year-old's party. Again, all suggest considering the individual child and situation before making party decisions.

Parties for ages 10 to 12
Children at this age know exactly what they want more than ever before. Their dreams may be bigger than ever. When my daughter, Alyssa, turned 10, she wanted a sleepover that ended with taking all of the 15 guests she planned to invite for a $3.50 fruit smoothie afterwards. I figured the cost of "breakfast" alone would be $52.50. We ended up taking the partygoers for a swimming party at the recreation center where we are members, eating pizza afterward, coming home for the sleepover and then offering a choice of cereal for breakfast.

Haupt says that children of this age are less interested in party games and more interested in pursuing activities relating to their interests. She suggests a combination of structured and unstructured activities such as "trips to the pizza parlor, slumber parties, one-time ballet classes or working on a craft together," with a minimum of focus on competition. Parental involvement in the actual activities shifts to more of a supervisory role, says Haupt. "The party planner backs out a little bit and doesn't try to micro-manage."

Rider suggests that children this age would enjoy a moon bounce as rental entertainment, and that girls might enjoy the mystique of a fortuneteller.

Teenagers
Teens may say, "We don't need you to stay," or "We want to do something without adults," says Cheryl Wright, associate professor and director of the Child and Family Development Center in the department of Family and Consumer Studies at the University of Utah. However, Wright feels that adults still play an important role in teen parties.

"Teens usually know what activities they want to plan, but supervision remains up to the parents to prevent teens from indulging in inappropriate, illegal or unsafe activities they wouldn't choose if supervised," says Wright.

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In the hectic millennium, a birthday party is a continuing tradition that parents and children can still enjoy together. Haupt believes that children of all ages still subscribe to the "birthday party script" elements of sending an invitation, serving ice cream and cake and inviting friends to celebrate their birthdays. And parents still enjoy the opportunity of hosting a party.