 |
Is Your Child Old Enough to Stay Home Alone?
by Aquilla Lynn Rexroat
Whether we're going to work or running quick errands, we ask ourselves, "Is my child old enough to stay home alone?" Before you retire your babysitter or stop sending your child to day care, consider the following advice from mothers who have been there.
In today's society, most families have both parents working. Although a lot of people wish one parent could stay home with their children, it's just not that simple anymore. Where does that leave the children? Would you trust leaving your child home alone?
With summer knocking on the front door and kids getting out for summer vacation, some parents are left scrambling for a baby-sitter or debating whether they can feel safe in leaving their child home alone.
As parents we often hope for the day when we can shed ourselves of daycare and baby-sitters costs, but we must consider the pro's and cons, of losing the security those services provide for us. Are we letting our children stay home alone too soon?
Many states do not have a specific law stating what age a child can stay home alone. As a parent, I found myself with more questions then answers when contacting my own local state representatives in Illinois. Every state has their own laws regarding childcare and the age children can be left home alone. In Illinois it is mainly a parents decision on how old a child can be.
Before making your decision you should check your state laws thoroughly. You can contact your local Department of Child and Family Services or your state police department. It is also important to remember that if you choose to leave an eleven year old home alone, because you feel they are responsible enough, it does not necessarily mean they are old enough to watch siblings or other small children.
Although leaving a child home alone can alleviate some of the financial burden, it may not necessarily be the wise decision. When making your decision, keep in mind some simple but important questions.
Do you feel you child is emotionally mature enough to be left home alone? This is one of the most important questions, if not the most important question, you will have to answer to yourself. If your child tends to be self sufficient, acts and behaves older then s/he is and stays out of trouble, then chances are that s/he may be old enough to stay home alone. If your child tends to get into a lot of trouble or mischief, when not supervised, then you should probably
wait.
If you have to tell your child to do something several times to get a task accomplished, then I strongly urge you to wait a while longer. Children need to remember how to keep themselves safe while parents are gone. It only takes one mistake of answering the phone or door to the wrong person, to have tragedy strike.
Examples of other questions to ask yourself before deciding whether or not to allow your child to stay at home unattended are:
- Do you plan on leaving your child alone for a long period of time, such as more then two hours?
- Does your child know what to do in case of accident, fire, or intruder?
- Will your child have contacts close by in case of an emergency?
- Do you feel comfortable leaving your child home alone?
- Does your child want and feel confident in staying home alone?
My son for instance, begged me to let him stay home alone. He told me constantly that I was overprotective, which I may be. At eleven I decided to give him a trial run at being home alone. I have four children, so you can imagine the chaos in my house. I went grocery shopping and ran a few errands to pay bills. I told Corey not to answer the phone or door and to stay inside with the curtains drawn. After being gone for close to two hours, I came home to find my son peering through the cracks in the curtains.
Although at eleven he was mature enough to stay home alone, he was not emotionally equipped yet to deal with the deafening silence in the house, which he was not used to with three other siblings running through the house. He did not have to tell me this, because I could see it in his eyes and by his actions. I decided to wait a little longer.
Interact with other parents - How old is mature enough to stay home alone? Tells us what you think on the boards!
|
|
What do other moms have to say?
Curious as to other mother's opinions, I contacted other mothers who have already left their children home alone to give us a little wisdom on how they handled the situation. These were the results.
A mother of four, Susan Ludwig states, "I left my oldest child home at the age of eleven, and this was out of necessity". To ensure the safety of her children, Susan replied. "He is not to answer the phone unless he sees that it is me on the caller identification box. He is not to answer the door at all". Susan said, "I do not try to leave the children alone at night, and the only time I have is when I went to a nearby dinner party for four hours."
Susan say's the basis for her to leave which child home alone was, "Dependant on the comfort level of the child, how long I would be away and how far away I would be." When asked what advice she would give to parents contemplating leaving a child home alone, Susan said, "You should only do what you feel comfortable with and I think you should only leave a child home alone, if you have a cell phone, or beeper so they can instantly get in touch with you".
Shelley, a mother of two, said she left her son home alone when her son was in fourth grade and her daughter in second. When asked what safety measures she took while she was gone, Shelley said, "We had a lady that lived up the street on a hill, and she could see our door. She watched them from a distance". Shelley says, "In regards to leaving my children home alone, no. Never. If I was gone during the day, it was only two and a half to three hours".
Her advice to mothers leaving their children home alone is, "Depending on their maturity, and my son was always my little man since my divorce, when he was young. He still is to this day! My daughter I don't leave home alone much. I would say make sure of any legal age your state might have, child's maturity, where you live, and if there is someone available in case of emergencies".
Kim Fraher, a mother of one has almost the ideal situation for leaving a child home alone, if there is an ideal situation. Kim states. "I have left my son home alone since he was ten. His grandma
lives three houses down from us, and I work directly across the street, so I have the perfect view of my house at all times. My son has my cell phone and work number, in case of any emergencies. I do not leave him alone at night, and if he did not act as mature as he does, then he would be at his grandma's."
Kim had this advice for parents: " Leave emergency contact numbers for your child. Tell a friend or neighbor in case of emergencies, and don't allow any use of the stove, or extra kid's in the house."
Our children are our most important accomplishments in life. Let us keep this in mind when we make the decision of whether or not our child is old enough to leave home alone.
Links, information and more for you
 Expert Answer: Babysitters -- How Much to Pay
The Anxious Parents' Guide to Quality Childcare
Interactive babysitter information sheet
Directory of family articles
Directory of all articles
About the author: Aquilla Rexroat is a wife and mother of four from Chillicothe, Illinois
who is currently enrolled in Long Ridge Writers Group studying
fiction/nonfiction. She is working towards the completion of her first
romance novel.
|
|
|
 |
|
|
